Kitaab

Identity: Private

writing archive blog

published 2018-05-17 21:41

updated 2023-06-03 21:55

This one is somewhat surprising to me, but it remains true nonetheless. I did consider myself an "open book" but here actions speak louder than intentions: whether that be my obession/paranoia with privacy or my quiet nature: I am a private individual. Though I may be a dreamer I have no desire to be known and do enjoy the freedom that anonymity brings. Looking back my usage of psuedonyms was not so much a desire not to be myself, but to be hidden and masked. This ties into my chamelionic nature -- not that I pretend to be someone else, but play up the parts of myself that I believe others would relate with. Of course I am complex and contradictory, and it is my private nature that allows this to take place, for that I will not apologize.

Hiding away in the solitude of my home or locking away uncomfortable memories in the fortress of my mind, knowing all of me is a difficult task because no matter how much you explore there are hidden chambers that even I no longer have access to.